Alone in the Dark

February 02, 2005

Reading time ~1 minute

I once bought a computer game called Alone in the Dark. In fact, spinning around on my office chair I can see that the box is still sat there on my shelf. It turns out that they've made a feature film out of it. It's getting amazing reviews, here are some samples:

The three stars have seen better days, but I'd like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like gay porn.
-- Rob Vaux, FLIPSIDE MOVIE EMPORIUM

It's only January, but I can't imagine any upcoming film replacing 'Alone in the Dark' as my leading candidate for Worst Movie of 2005.
-- Betty Jo Tucker, REELTALK MOVIE REVIEWS

Saying Uwe Boll's Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV.
-- Nicholas Schager, SLANT MAGAZINE

...asking the viewer to accept Tara Reid as a scientist is pure insanity, requiring a staggering leap of faith that I can't even begin to contemplate.
-- David Nusair, REEL FILM REVIEWS

Alone in the Dark co-stars perpetual party-girl Tara Reid as an archeologist. That alone should give you some clue as to how bad this movie is.
-- Bob Townsend, ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION

As video game adaptations go, even Pong: The Movie would have a lot more personality.
-- Michael Rechtshaffen, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

via Defective Yeti

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